My Name is Herman and I don't do Ni Hao!

The first thing I realized was my breathing. It is usually slow and steady, but it turns short and fast. Suffocation. Suffocation. Suffocation. I guess this is how it feels to be Bart when Homer Simpson strangles him? My esophagus is choked with heavy air. Then my eyes were failing me. I can't see things very clearly as of this stage. Wait, what is this? A droplet on my cheeks?
....That's right, I was about to burst into tears. Possible reasons:

a. I just lost my PS3

b. I just break up with my dear Girlfriend

c. I just watched My Name is Khan.

Well, let's look at the three options. First of all, I have no PS3. So there is no reason to cry about, except for the fact that I have no PS3. Secondly, I love my girlfriend, so there is nothing to worry abou...Well, come to think about it, I think there is something to worry about! Let us hope that the feeling is mutual people *fingers crossed* So...What was the third reason again?? My name is Khan? Yep, you got that right hun! That movie keeps on jerking on my tear glands! I swear under my awesome name that movie just kick Forrest Gump out of the equations! Who knew that Bollywood came up with such a masterpiece?!? It is actually a story of an autistic Muslim Indians under the Post 9/11 incident, and how the Muslim are being bullied because the Americans are just paranoid with the Muslims, and obviously Arabs. Ironically, the Americans attack  Indians too, since they (White) think Indians are arabs (well, they are browns after all) . Anyway, Damn its good! It is sooooo good, that I'm actually inspired to make a movie of my own! Unlike My name is Khan, this movie shall be based on true story! A true story of a brave good looking Indonesian guy with a killer smile studying in the outback Australia, after the Bali Bombing Incident! The main story shall revolves around how the Australians can't distinquish an Indonesian and Chinese or Chinese.Where no man can, he persevere and came out as a victor! Sounds like a good deal? I think so too! So these are some sample of the scripts for you to think about the racism that happened where you can only think about. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy some of the best story that 21st century can offer you!

So this is how the short and concise event goes on that very extraordinary day.
Setting: Melbourne Australia. Monash Campus in Caulfield, waiting for the train from Caulfield Train Station.
Time: 0630PM Winter, Wednesday 27th August 2008
Character involved:
1. Herman Dinata, a good looking Indonesian guy with a killer smile.
2. White Guy C, he is white.


White guy C: So mate, you are like...Indonesian right? What are you? Indonesians or something? I mean like...White people has English, or Germans, or French some shits like that..Ya get what I mean??
Herman Dinata: I'm actually Chinese man.
White guy C: But I thought you said you are Indonesian?
Herman Dinata: Yea, I'm a Chinese who lives in Indonesia.
White guy C: But I thought you said you are Indonesian?
Herman Dinata: Yea, I'm Indonesian, but I'm Chinese.
White guy C: But I thought you said you are Indonesian?
Herman Dinata: (Dumbstrucked)......Are you expecting a reply or a kick in the face?

T.H.E.E.N.D

See! It is so very hard not too cry when you are faced with that kind of situation don't you! Now imagine the second scenario:

Setting: Melbourne Australia. Monash Campus in Caulfield, outside Building H in front of the cut-throat Bookstore.
Time: 0100PM Fall, Monday 4th June 2007
Character involved:
1. Herman Dinata, a good looking Indonesian guy with a killer smile.
2. White guy A, he is white.
3. White guy B, he is white too.

As Herman Dinata left the room 3.61A along with his friend, White guy A calls Herman.
White guy A: (Waving his left hand frantically and running towards Herman)Hey Mate! Can I bring my friend along for this group assignments?
Herman Dinata: (Respond to White guy A gestures, and waves his right hand in a very gracious manner) Sure things, is he around now?
White guy A: Yea mate, here his name is White guy B! White guy B, this is Herman Dinata, and Herman, this is White guy B.
White guy B: (Bow down a little bit, with his both hands clasp together, mimicking the Chinese monk) Ni Hao!
Herman Dinata: (flabbergasted) ......!?!?Don't you Ni hao me! I eat Rice! I'm Indonesian! Go Ni Hao MarcoPolo! They eat Chinese Noodles!!!

T.H.E.E.N.D


Pretty neat huh? I thought I can kick both My name is Khan and Forrest Gump with this one! After all, both of the main characters are complete retards in comparison to my character! Those who are interested to be part of this heart breaking drama type of movie, contact me, and you MAY be choosen to fill in the random roles and characters. I haven't thought a movie title yet though...I reckon "Herman Dinata the good looking Indonesian guy with a killer smile's asskicking action in the Bogan and Kangoroo Jack filled outback Australia after Bali Bombing that kills more Australian than Indonesian ironically" sounds really sexy, but rather too direct and has nothing got to do with the story lines. Any better Idea? Well, time to continue on with my scripts! Those who can came up with a better Movie title shall be a cameo in my awesome movie! Just you wait in your next door Cinema for this one!

My name is Herman and I don't do Ni Hao!


* Both of the scenario actually happened, and nope, there are no racism over here. It is pure racial jokes!*